Not sure if I mentioned this to you before, but I am the Creative Director for a small (yet very successful) local business here in San Diego. I love my job. I love who I work with, I love my bosses, I love the work. I have a ton of creative flexibility. I used to work for a much larger, worldwide corporate company. I liked that job enough, but it just wasn’t as fulfilling. My soon-to-be employer begged me to at least just come in for an interview, and they hired me on the spot. I don’t think either one of us knew what a perfect match we would be for each other. I wasn’t even looking for a new job. I feel it just sort of landed in my lap. Luck? Or did I just have the guts to take the opportunity when it was dangled in front of me? Who knows. But I here I am. In a job that I love.
For the first couple years, I was just constantly slammed. Working tons of overtime, scrambling to get these materials out for our clients. I felt like I was just getting stuff done. And that’s exactly what I was doing, because I didn’t have time for anything else. I had so many goals of what I wanted to do for the company. Redesign the website, marketing materials, new collateral, you name it. But there just wasn’t time to sit and really design the right way.
You see…design takes time. Art takes time. You can’t just sit there and slap things together. I work fast, and have some sort of talent at least, so I could slap things together to make them look decent. But when you’re talking about re-branding an entire company, or creating brand new material, you need time to design. To make magic. If I’m not crossing things off my to do list left and right I feel as if I’m not accomplishing anything. This has been tough for me.
This year my bosses let me hire a part time person to help me. Because of that, I’ve felt my role shifting. I’ve always had the title of Creative Director, but now I feel like I really fit that title. I used to be the work horse and the mastermind. Now I can just be the mastermind and let the work horse do its job. It’s been tough for me to let things go. To delegate, to trust that things will get done right. But now that I’ve had some practice doing it, it’s really been amazing. I’m learning how to be a good boss, how to teach/guide better. How to (hopefully) inspire someone to follow their heart in the marketing materials they’re making. I have larger, more important projects on my plate now, that take more time. I’m working on one huge piece of collateral that will set the stage for all of our marketing materials. I’m planning fun events and print materials to go with them.
I just realized this morning in the shower (think tank!) that I’m holding back. I’m afraid. I’m afraid I can’t deliver. But reality is, I can deliver. This is exactly what I want to be doing, and what I’m good at! I want to be more creative in my job, I want to design these amazing materials, have crazy ideas and implement them. I want to put myself out there and not be afraid that people won’t like it. I have the support of my bosses, they trust me more than I trust myself. If I just had more confidence, this could be amazing.
So what am I going to do about this? I’m going to have the confidence no matter what. If I don’t feel it 100%, I’m going to fake it. The more you fake something, the more you’ll feel it, and then it becomes a reality. Right? I have so many exciting projects I’m working on right now, and being afraid is only going to hinder their progress. So, no fear! I got this!
What about you? What’s holding you back from the exciting thing ahead of you?